Be the Umbrella
Originally published on the “A Woman Your Age.” blog.
“Be the Umbrella” … a metaphor I first heard early in my career, and has had resonance throughout my life.
I was a designer at Ford Motor Company, and it was as exhilarating as unruly in the studios. Think Mad Men level glamour and misogyny, but nineties hair and suits.
It was of another era. For example, corporate dress code required women to wear stockings (aka nylons). Upon college graduation, I ricocheted from art school self expression, to a measured (and dated) corporate culture.
The boss who taught me the meaning of “being an umbrella,” was an amazing manager. Both an excellent communicator and mentor. I’ll refer to her as Justice for this post.
I began reporting to Justice when I transferred from the car design studios to color & trim (now known as CMF). This was significant in my career, because finding a female manager in the studios was as probable as finding a unicorn … because there weren’t any. The color & trim role also cracked open my world through frequent travel to London, Paris, and Cologne. I worked on European programs, while also attending global trend and material shows.
What impressed me most about Justice, was that she was never ruffled. She would show amused exasperation, controlled frustration, or targeted concern. There was never a dreaded mood or disposition, nor anxiety that she was having a bad day. Her difficult day did not make it difficult for her team.
I remember distinctly in one of my early touch bases with her, sharing how much I appreciated her managerial style. She quite simply told me that “a good boss is like an umbrella." The conversation was that brief. She's British, and my young American’s world was rocked by her succinctness.
In my early career, within the storms of corporate studios, it struck me that it took unimaginable superpowers to say these simple words, mean it, and actually do it.
Her words were as mysterious as achieving mental telepathy. I was an organ of emotions, and easy to get a reaction from. I had absolutely no poker face, was susceptible to crying, and possessed an insatiable curiosity. And with such curiosity, I often found myself emotionally in-over-my-head.
And the moment the words passed her lips, I knew that she was 100% correct. That she presented to me the key of what it takes to be an incredible boss. I marinated on this quite a bit, both after that meeting and over the following years. Her words actually became a safe harbor for the years I did not benefit from having a fantastic, or even seemingly human, boss.
We’ve all had less than stellar bosses, and it is usually the fact that they are “a funnel” that makes them so difficult to work for. Their stress, confusion, and issues funnel right into your lap. They are also the fastest to throw people under the bus to either save their jobs or move ahead. I could fill a novel with all the funnels I have met in my career.
But decades later, here I stand … an umbrella.
Through corporate life, running my own business, and in working with clients … I strive to keep a filter of self awareness at the forefront, and continually reflect whether I am being an umbrella or funnel.
I have read articles over the years about how motherhood bolsters women’s performance in the workplace. That the abilities to multitask, be selfless, and anticipate essential needs, translate into incredible skills across our lives.
I am not saying parenthood makes better employees, I am saying parenthood is a life example in which some of us can do significant maturation and growth through. Parenthood can be swapped out for innumerous life experiences that offer growth, enhance our fortitude, and increase our tenacity. It’s just a personal example, and transitions well to the following thoughts …
I find in our tangled threads of life that include career, parenthood, significant-otherness, fur-baby companion, you name it ... what we learn in each one, helps all aspects if we are self aware.
In being a parent to an exquisite human, becoming an umbrella was instant. Not a ramping up period, but a seismic shift in my emotional IQ.
And when I look back at the woman who marveled at the unimaginable strength it takes to “be the umbrella,” I have nothing but gratitude for all the rocks, valleys, and edges that toughened me into a maturity of compassion for others, while also being able to be a shield.
I now have a steadiness that I only once dreamt of.
My younger self thought of self control as a constriction. A lid screwed on tight. A knot in the balloon to keep the air from escaping. However, being steady, and the ability to be the umbrella … is the actual opposite of a contraction. It’s an openness.
Being able to be the umbrella, is a swelling, a container made larger, an eaves extending to cover those who need it.
Openness does not denote fragile vulnerability, but a relaxation of the nervous system. Being open allows in critical information with clarity, while offering space for measured listening and analysis. Tension is unwound, and internal mechanisms like breath are regulated. In the same way a surfer navigates immensely powerful waves through a relaxed strength, it is this stance I am referring to for leadership. The ability to be flexible, improvise, and stay resolute.
I am also able to fill my life with so much more happiness and contentment through being the umbrella. I am not fighting to keep anything in, so I don’t risk missing “the good stuff” by being constrained or closed.
Be the Umbrella … a simple and succinct managerial style, unexpectedly opened my world to the complexities of personal growth and how to show up throughout life.
